By
Lee Kyung Hong
 |
| Lee Kyung Hong |
Before entering medical school, I read
Pauline Chen’s book Final Exam. I was terrified at her
description of a terse conversation she had with a supervising
physician. “You will make a mistake.”
How could I ever live with killing
one of my patients?
Medical students
are trained to understand that some medical errors are out of our
control – a systematic error, a computer glitch, a fatigued
colleague. We turn inward in our training to drill out any human
weaknesses. We study long hours, cram everything into our heads, stay
on call overnight, and above all lose ourselves in our work…
because deep down inside, we know that one day we’ll be touching
the lives of real people.
Yet, the reality is that we are not
perfect. Our humanity betrays us in those tired, hungry hours. We
give so much to our work that sometimes there is nothing left to
give, and we are left emotionally and mentally spent. Indeed,
physician and medical student burnout is becoming increasingly
studied as a work-related phenomenon. It’s ironic that, in a
profession of serving people, we can become numb to the intricacies
of human interaction.
Love Alone opens with the
mind-numbing hum of monitors and a faded waiting room, a familiar
scene. Patiently, the characters peruse the magazines that lay strewn
across the end tables. As I watch and become immersed into the lives
of these characters – the doctor, her husband, her coworker, the
survivors, their lawyer – I begin to realize that, just as the
characters talk across each other on a common set, I experience this
cross-talk within myself, as both a patient and (future) provider. In
the face of a devastating medical error, the lives of both the
survivors and physician are forever changed. Love Alone, to
me, beautifully portrays the rituals – smoking at the hospital
parking lot, performing to swarms of fans, listening for the 6PM
watch alarm – that help us all to cope with unfathomable fear and
loss. We cling to that pulse of everyday life because it’s what
keeps us going in those tired, hungry days.
